Tag: humor
member name: Linda C.
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August 25, 2007 10:34 AM EDT --
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow at Wal-Mart for Foster thewonder dog and was about to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her thatno, I . . . more
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July 09, 2007 03:53 PM EDT --
Prickly pear. If you scrape off the skin and boil the inside, it tastes good!
1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television. (I have!)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Al Capone's . . . more
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August 09, 2007 09:45 AM EDT --
FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the
gates are closed, and Forrest . . . more
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July 10, 2007 11:44 AM EDT --
disclaimer: I did not write this - it was sent to me by a former client.
One for the girls
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles, Please no bags . . . more
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July 15, 2007 11:20 AM EDT --
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalities . . . more
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October 22, 2007 12:08 PM EDT --
Subject: Three contractors
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White
House in D.C. One from New Jersey , another from Tennessee and the
. . . more
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January 06, 2008 12:07 AM EST --
Yep,, This is my new theme song......
http://weblogs.newsday.com/news/opinion/walthandelsman/blog/2007/11/animation_baby_boomers.html
more
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February 18, 2008 11:44 PM EST --
Since this seems to be the month for it ..
List things like:
I did not research evry word that I cut and pasted from an email that I received from a friend before I posted / published . . . more
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May 30, 2007 10:25 PM EDT --
A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country.
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Well, there's a very simple answer.
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Nobody bothered to check the oil.
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We just didn't know . . . more
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June 01, 2007 10:05 AM EDT --
Inner Peace
I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could
all use a little more calmness in our lives.
By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find . . . more
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June 20, 2007 10:13 AM EDT --
Ais for apple, and Bis for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.
Now..
.
The Alphabet . . . more
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July 25, 2007 10:03 AM EDT --
WIFE FROM HELL
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer
says, " I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control . . . more
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July 26, 2007 08:02 PM EDT --
The Meaning of Guts and Balls:
We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really
know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each . . . more
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July 29, 2007 11:19 AM EDT --
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies . . . more
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August 04, 2007 03:58 PM EDT --
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese . . . more
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August 15, 2007 08:04 PM EDT --
9 WORDS WOMEN USE
1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this . . . more
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June 06, 2007 11:34 AM EDT --
Just a note to tell you that my mailbox is being flooded with mail
concerning gas prices (to boycott oil companies or not) and illegal
immigrants (to provide amnesty to illegal immigrants or not, etc.). . . . more
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July 18, 2007 01:10 PM EDT --
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begins to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible . . . more
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August 08, 2007 12:12 PM EDT --
Saint George Bush President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Episcopal Church outside Washington as part of his campaign to restore his pathetic poll standings. His image handler made . . . more
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August 23, 2007 05:34 PM EDT --
YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE TELLS IT ALL
A mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date.
Mommy,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'
'Honey, you are not . . . more
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